By Ellen Barnes, PhD., Director

What is it that helps us feel secure? How can we create environments for our children where they feel safe to create, take risks, explore, and grow? Jim Greenman in his book Places for Childhood, describes the four “pillars of security” as people, place, routine, and ritual. We know that being surrounded by familiar, trusted adults and peers is critical. We also need to have a physical place where we can take comfort in the familiar order, sights, sounds and smells, where we find our treasured things and memories. Each of us defines our own kind of sanctuary, soft private places where we can pause, heal, and recharge from a bad day. Given the freedom to do so, adults and children invent their own spaces, whether it is secluded under blankets, squeezed in behind furniture or soaking in a tub with quiet music.

I am a great admirer of the centering power of routines and rituals. Greenman says, “We all need routine to give shape to the chaos of life: patterns of actions and expectations welded to the clock or the rhythms of inner needs or the outer world”. Especially when aspects of our life are changing (new school, home, family members), routines reassure us. Experts writing about the impact of divorce on children say that what helps them survive this dislocation is to maintain contact with both parents (the people pillar) and to keep the routines of life as much the same as possible. Structuring of time can provide a sense of stability. I am one of those people who thrives on the schedule of work; it takes me a long time to settle into the open-ended days of vacation and get comfortable with letting my days flow. We know that in our classrooms predictable routines provide a supportive envelope for children, reduce their anxiety and allow them to initiate within the usual expectations.

Rites and rituals help us give meaning to special occasions and transitions whether they be daily comings and goings, of beginnings and endings or whether they are those huge events of “firsts”, (sending your child off to school for the first time, driving lessons, etc.) Rituals often serve as the milestones in our memories of childhood. How we say hello and goodnight, how we help tired bodies relax comfortably toward bedtime, how we separate from our loved ones to enter the daily life of work and school---all these are eased by rituals. It is these personal familiar touches that help us get through the days and weeks of a busy and unpredictable world. Just as you do at home, we offer in our classrooms many routines and rituals that provide balance and security for our students and staff. The four pillars of security (people, space, routines and rituals) provide a structure within which we all can relax and learn. The first weeks of school are opportunities to create with children the individualized versions of these pillars to keep them safe and happy each day. We ask that parents share with us any suggestions to help their child settle into this new routine.

To read more about helping children with routines, click on the links below.

Helping Children Fall Asleep

What's for Lunch?

Fitness for Life