By Ellen Barnes, PhD., Director

I have many memories of school Thanksgiving luncheons with costumed pilgrims and Indians, and many preschools used to organize their curriculum around holidays. But as Jowonio has gotten more diverse and as I have put time into thinking about how we develop our curriculum, I now have a different perspective on including celebrations in our program in a way that is both developmentally appropriate and inclusive. The historical or religious bases of many holidays are complex and beyond the understanding of most children 2-5 years old, although they certainly learn and love the rituals associated with family celebrations. As a non-sectarian educational program (where there is the “separation of church and state”), we cannot focus on events that are essentially religious in nature. And sometimes the line is thin between appreciating a custom and practicing a religious observance.

But most importantly, in our school we want to have each child feel welcomed whether or not they are part of the dominant western European culture or Christian religion. I remember a Jowonio parent and friend writing me that she had spent her childhood as the one Jewish child in a Christian community, and how she dreaded the Christmas season because it always made her feel wrong, different, excluded. She asked us not to emphasize Christmas here, because her own children were exposed enough to the media’s obsession with it. Reading work by native people about Columbus Day and Thanksgiving reinforced the notion that much of what we learned as children about these holidays is based on inaccurate historical information and stereotypes and seldom included the perspective of our first people. In the past we have had families at Jowonio who are Jehovah Witnesses and do not acknowledge holidays or birthdays. The increasing cultural diversity of our students means that we have families who may be members of a mosque or a temple or a church or no organized religious institution at all.

Lastly, there is such commercialization and focus on acquisition of material things, with the weekly appearance in our mailboxes of competing expensive flyers for each store and the relentless television ads that urge your child to “want” plastic items deriving from TV and film characters. In all this focus on buying, we have lost the “reason for the season”! With the emphasis on gifts and consuming, children could get the message that getting more means being valued more ( e.g.“Santa brings toys to good boys and girls”). Young children also can be frightened by the images that are perpetuated (think Halloween) and overwhelmed by the family stress that holiday expectations bring.

We value that families will celebrate based on their history and traditions, and these experiences will make memories for their children. At Jowonio we plan to have a continuing dialogue about how to address holidays in the school setting. I believe that the best celebrations at school relate to the universal themes across all cultures, to the seasons of the natural world, and to the milestones and life occasions most relevant to preschoolers. Children can gain a sense of belonging and learn that we are similar and that in many cultures celebrations recur, across the ages, in many places, and for many people. How we celebrate is usually connected to symbols of a season (decorations) and to sharing food and music and the company of family and friends. Our diverse community here lets us learn about the larger world and the unique culture of our classmates. All year long, not just in one season, we hope to focus on giving and sharing, on valuing others. At home and at school we can think about ways that children can experience outreach to others: sharing what we have (contributing to food baskets); making gifts for those we love; caring for our environment (e.g. cleaning up the litter in a local park); inviting friends and neighbors over for a meal.

Natural events have been celebrated for generations. For example, in fall and early winter we express gratitude for the harvest, mark the days getting shorter and the weather colder; it is a time for lights and a time for community. There is a rhythm to life related to the passage of time, and there is reassurance in the fact that this will occur with predictability no matter what is happening in our human family. Sometimes holidays can be a painful time, when your life has changed and you are no longer part of what has been your tradition. We can gain solace in appreciating the cycles of nature as we create our own family/family of friends and rituals that are meaningful to us. In terms of what is relevant to young children, we should celebrate important developmental milestones that mark time and growth (a missing tooth, the birth of a sibling, the start of a new school year, learning a skill like how to read or write one’s name, moving to a new house, graduating from preschool); we should also celebrate the joyous events in our natural world (the release of the butterflies we hatched, the sight and sound of the first geese flying south, the sighting of deer and a fox in our backyard, the first snow, the blooming of our amaryllis bulb). These markers are present and part of our immediate experiences as a community, and make more sense to young children than a more distant holiday whose origin is religious or historical events.

Click to read Ellen Barnes' article about Holiday Stress and Joy.