By Ellen Barnes, Ph.D., Director

When I think of the upcoming holiday season, I feel both stress and joy. For so many of us stress results from the expectations of family, the attempt to do too much, and the commercial press to buy and give, and the financial outlay as a result of that. But joy is imbedded in our traditions, the memories of our childhood, the community of relatives and friends, and the excitement of children in this time of sharing. I want my own children to have wonderful memories, to stay in touch with the meaning of the season, and also to know how to create their own celebrations and family of friends as they get older. It has helped me approach this season with calmness when I remind myself that simplifying is good! What is important is time with people, so it is okay to make fewer gifts, entertain less, stop worrying obsessively about the state of my house, and cut out those things that ring of "ought to” and not “love to”. That means that I’ll still share with friends the adventure of finding the perfect tree out on the mountain; fill the stockings; appreciate the flowering bulbs; listen to holiday music of all kinds; visit my favorite seasonal craft fairs; play games by the fire with my children and their friends; and send off my packages to family and friends. But I probably won’t get crazy about artistic wrapping; I’ll forget the Christmas card list (maybe New Year’s cards, but maybe not); limit my baking to gifts for my neighbors; and remember that it really is that thought not the cost that counts. I will hold tight to a focus on the blessings of the season, taking time with those who matter to me, pay attention to the natural beauty around us, let my heart soar with music and commit time to snuggle up with a good book. I promise myself that I will go for walks even when it’s cold, create a sensory environment of candles and flowers, cook soup, and tell my children how much I love them.

I urge you to tune in to how you are feeling about your holiday and do what is most important to you. This might mean adding new traditions in place of old stressful ones; it might mean giving yourself permission to “not do” and vote for peaceful instead of busy. This time gives us an opportunity to celebrate wonder and mystery which dwell in the hearts of children and the details of day-to-day life. Wonder and mystery don’t need fancy wrapping, just attention paid. I hope you can fill your holiday weeks with comfort and joy!

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